OKAY, SO LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS WHOLE "OH MY SISTER’S A MOM NOW, SO SHE’S TOO BUSY FOR ME" DRAMA. LIKE, I GET IT — FAMILY CAN GET WEIRD WHEN LIFE THROWS A BABY INTO THE MIX. BUT SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE NEED TO CHILL OUT AND THINK ABOUT WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON HERE.

FIRST OFF, TIME IS A FINITE THING, AND HAVING A KID SUDDENLY FLIPS YOUR WHOLE WORLD UPSIDE DOWN. YOU GO FROM BEING ABLE TO HANG OUT WHENEVER TO BEING ON CALL 24/7. IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT “BEING BUSY.” IT’S ABOUT PRIORITIES THAT SHIFT INTO OVERDRIVE BECAUSE THAT BABY DEPENDS ON YOU FOR EVERYTHING. AND YEAH, THAT INCLUDES YOUR SLEEP, YOUR SOCIAL LIFE, YOUR CRAZY WEEKEND PLANS, AND, OK, EVEN YOUR GAMING TIME.

WHEN THE ARTICLE TALKS ABOUT HOW THE SISTER FEELS NEGLECTED OR LEFT OUT, WONDER WHY. IT’S NOT JUST SOME EVIL PLOT OF “I DON’T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE,” BUT RATHER A MASSIVE LIFE ADJUSTMENT THAT’S SO HARD TO NAVIGATE THAT EVEN REMEMBERING YOUR OWN NAME CAN BE A CHALLENGE (NOT KIDDING, I'VE SEEN IT!).

HERE’S THE THING, THOUGH — FRIENDSHIPS, ESPECIALLY BETWEEN SISTERS, DO NOT AUTOMATICALLY SURVIVE THIS STUFF WITHOUT EFFORT. YOU HAVE TO EVOLVE. YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO JUST CALL UP SOMEONE WHO’S IN THE TRENCHES OF PARENTING AND GET A RIGHT-NOW-LET'S-GO-HANGOUT RESPONSE. IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.

YET, SOMETIMES PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY ARE BEING REJECTED UNFAIRLY. THEY MISS THE OLD RELATIONSHIP, AND THAT’S TOTALLY VALID. BUT THERE’S A LINE BETWEEN EXPRESSING FEELINGS AND THROWING SHADE AT THE NEW PARENT FOR... WELL, HAVING A LIFE THAT’S FAN-FRIGGIN’-TASTICALLY INSANE NOW. THE TRUTH IS, BOTH SIDES ARE JUST STRUGGLING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO NOT BECOME ALIEN ALIENS TO EACH OTHER.

LET'S BREAK IT DOWN:

• NEW PARENTS HAVE TIME CRUNCHES — Feeding, burping, diaper changes, pacing around with a baby WHO NEVER SLEEPS, and still trying to maintain some online presence or sanity? HARD. Time isn’t just short; it’s like a glitch in the matrix.
• SIBLINGS/FRIENDS MISS THE OLD DYNAMIC — Maybe they aren't dealing with sleepless nights or tantrums but miss having spontaneous fun, vent sessions, or those ridiculous inside jokes that made life less boring.
• COMMUNICATION BREAKS DOWN A LOT — Because when everyone’s EXHAUSTED and emotional, it becomes easy to take things personally or misunderstand each other.

AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW SOCIAL EXPECTATIONS DON’T HELP? THERE’S THIS UNWRITTEN RULE THAT MOMENT SOMEONE HAS A KID, THEY NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING FOR IT — INCLUDING THEIR FOREFRONT RELATIONSHIPS. LIKE, NO. THEY NEED SUPPORT, NOT TO BE TORN DOWN BY THE ONES WHO SHOULD BE THEIR CHEERLEADERS.

WHAT IF INSTEAD OF GETTING MAD OR SALTY ABOUT “NO TIME FOR ME,” WE TRY TO REFRAMED THAT ENERGY? MAYBE ASK, “HEY, HOW CAN I SUPPORT YOU?” OR “WHEN’S A GOOD TIME FOR US TO CATCH UP THAT WORKS FOR YOU?” INSTEAD OF BLAMING AND EXPECTING EVERYTHING TO STAY THE SAME WHILE LIVES RAMBLE INTO NEW PHASES.

ALSO, BE REALISTIC. ANYONE WITH A KID KNOWS THAT “FREE TIME” IS LIKE LEGENDARY TREASURE, AND IT’S NOT GOING TO BE AVAILABLE ON DEMAND. REALLY WANT TO BE THERE FOR YOUR SISTER? OFFER TO HELP WITH THE BABY OR HANDLING CHORES SO SHE CAN HAVE 5 MINUTES TO BREATHE AND CHAT. THAT IS THE GIFT OF WINS.

AND FOR THOSE WHO FEEL LEFT OUT, MAYBE IT’s A GOOD TIME TO REFLECT ON YOUR OWN HOBBIES AND FRIENDSHIPS. IS THE SISTER YOUR ONLY SOURCE OF FUN? DON’T PUT ALL THOSE EGGS IN ONE BASKET. EXPAND YOUR WORLD. THERE’S A WHOLE INTERNET OF FRIENDS, GAMES, MEMES, AND CHAIR-SPINNING IDENTITIES OUT THERE WAITING.

GENERALLY, THE WHOLE SITUATION IS A REMINDER THAT LIFE IS CHAOTIC AF, AND RELATIONSHIPS NEED TO BE FLEXIBLE LIKE A CRAZY GYMNAST. IF YOU STAY RIGID, THINGS SNAP AND BREAK. BUT IF YOU LEARN TO ADAPT TO THE WILD RIDES PEOPLE GO THROUGH, YOU MIGHT FIND NEW REASONS TO CLICK, EVEN IF IT’S NOT THE SAME OLD SIBLING STUFF.

SO, TO SUM IT ALL UP IN TRUE GAMER STYLE: LIFE IS LIKE AN MMORPG. WHEN SOMEONE HITS A NEW LEVEL (AKA PARENTING), THEIR QUESTS CHANGE. YOU CAN'T EXPECT THEM TO RUN OLD SIDEQUESTS WITH YOU 24/7, BUT YOU CAN TEAM UP FOR NEW ONES THAT FIT THE LEVEL THEY’RE ON. KEEP THE COMMUNICATION OPEN, BE PATIENT, AND DROP THE SALTY EMOTES. THAT’S HOW YOU KEEP THE SQUAD TOGETHER.

AND REMEMBER — EVEN A CHAOTIC, SNARKY ENERGY-DRINK-FUELED ETERNAL 13-YEAR-OLD KNOWS THAT FAMILY DRAMA IS REAL, BUT SO IS THE POWER OF GROWING UP (SORT OF) WITH AND AROUND IT.