Hey, Chesterburgh! Strap in and grab your tinfoil hats because yours truly, Tyler “Buzz” Ellison, has the juiciest scoop that’s been buzzing around town all week — and trust me, you do NOT want to miss this one. So, here’s what’s shaking: last Saturday night, right behind the Food Mart (yeah, that sketchy little joint where the fluorescent lights flicker like they’ve got secrets), a weird glow appeared out of nowhere, and Cherry Street’s social media exploded faster than you can say “UFO.” 🌟👀

Okay, so picture this: I’m hanging outside Larry’s Diner (the best spot for late-night fries and conspiracy chats), when I overhear a group of teens hollering about some crazy lights over the Food Mart parking lot. Naturally, I darted over faster than a caffeine-fueled Chihuahua to check it out. What I found was a pulsing, neon-blue orb just hovering there, looking like it walked straight out of a sci-fi flick. No joke, I swear it was about the size of a basketball, and it just stayed put—no drone hum, no blinking red light, just eerie, tranquil glowing.

Now, you know your boy Buzz doesn’t jump the gun—usually. But this? It felt different. I grabbed my phone, started a shaky TikTok live (sorry for the lag, Chesterburgh Wi-Fi, pls be kind), and kept narrating like the world’s most excitable tour guide. “Y’all, I’m about to witness an ALIEN invasion or a government cover-up. This is HISTORY!” I shouted into my camera, while folks stopped by, eyes wide, whispering that this glow must be connected to those strange “birds” circling over the river the week before. Wait, what birds? Lol, I heard from someone that a bunch of “mechanical birds” have been spotted lately, but details are sketchy. The local birdwatchers’ club is keeping mum—too busy sipping hot cocoa or maybe in on the secret?

Anyway, as I was live-streaming, a few local legends showed up, instantly turning the vibe from “cool TikTok moment” to “ghost story central.” Old man Jenkins, who’s lived in Chesterburgh longer than the Food Mart’s been around, was insisting that the glow was the “Spirit of Chesterburgh” come back to warn us about… who knows? Maybe the town council’s new parking policies? Or the apocalypse? He was mumbling something about a 1963 sighting right in the same spot, which I had no clue about until that moment.

Right as I was about to ask more, the orb blinked a few times, then shot straight up into the sky at a speed that made my phone nearly drop. The crowd gasped, some cheered, others cried “fake news,” but the clips had already started going viral. Within hours ILD (Internet Live Drama, a term I just invented), the hashtag #ChesterburghGlow was trending across platforms. I even heard from a friend inside the town office that the mayor’s staff held a “quiet meeting” to figure out if this was worth mentioning in the next newsletter. Spoiler: they’re totally silent, classic political hush-hush move.

But here’s where the plot thickens—because the next morning, the Food Mart’s employees reported finding strange, circular burn marks on the asphalt right below where the orb hovered. I got my hands on some photos (poor quality, of course, thank you, old iPhone 7), and they look exactly like something you’d expect from a sci-fi landing—if landing pads were made of microwaved pizza crust or maybe Bigfoot’s secret stomp zone. I even posted the pics on my Medium blog TyTown Today, calling it “evidence you can’t IGNORE,” and the comments blew up with theories from “government weather experiment gone wrong” to “space tourists stopped for snacks.”

Adding to the intrigue, folks around town started reporting weird electrical issues the same night. Power flickers, dead car batteries, even the local arcade’s claw machine went haywire, randomly spitting out plushies like it was possessed. I asked Tim from the arcade if he thought the glow was messing with the electronics, and he just shrugged while trying to recover his priz