yo chesterburgh, it’s your boy ray-ray dropping some straight-up wild news that honestly has me lowkey shook. this morning, around 6:30 am, the town’s beloved “crispy claws” food truck—yeah, the one that’s basically a staple for every lunch break downtown—was spotted parked in the weirdo no-parking zone behind the old library. at first glance, no big deal, right? food trucks gotta chill somewhere. but here’s where it gets mad sus: people started noticing that the truck wasn’t just there to serve its legendary lobster rolls. oh no, it had like this massive satellite dish on top and a bunch of weird blinking lights on the side that nooormal food trucks don’t have.

i mean, listen—i love my lobster rolls as much as the next person, but when you mix that with “what the heck is happening here” energy, your radar’s gotta go off. locals started creeping closer and swore they could hear… um, weird noises? kind of like static mixed with random beeps, and even some faint voices in languages no one recognized. the whole vibe screamed “secret gov vibe” but also “somebody’s about to hack chesterburgh.” i hit up a few folks who work around that area and no one signed off on this. the town council posted a vague tweet saying it was “routine tech testing,” but no one’s buying it. why test secret tech on the only food truck everyone knows and loves??

if that wasn’t wild enough, people noticed that the wifi network broadcasting from the truck was named “lobster-net-84.” very on brand, but also very creepy. one dude posted a blurry screenshot of the wifi list on the chesterburgh discord server, and within minutes, the channel was blowing up with theories. some said it was a cover for spying on town gamers or collecting data from phones that jump on the network. others joked it was part of an alien lobstery takeover. honestly, couldn’t blame anyone for that one.

ok, so here’s a wild twist: by noon, the truck “vanished” without a trace. like, gone. employees at the nearby cafe said the crispy claws guy was seen packing up in a rush, acting all “uhh, nothing to see here.” i swear, their vibe was less “i’m closing for the day” and more “cover up your browser history.” even the sat dish and blinking lights were nowhere to be found. i tried catching the driver on discord DMs, but radio silence. something’s seriously up and it feels like we’re missing a piece of this lobster-laden puzzle big-time.

also important to mention: a few hours after the truck bounced, some residents in the area reported random power flickers and their smart devices acting skrrt. like lights turning off and on, thermostats going haywire, and phones glitching out during calls. coincidence? i think not. could it be linked to whatever tech was strapped on the truck? town IT nerds should definitely be monitoring this because i’m not here for smart toasters trying to take over chesterburgh.

i poked around old town council livestream archives (yes, i’m that extra) and found something THAT. MAKES. SENSE. back in 2019, there was a meeting where a “mobile surveillance initiative” was quietly mentioned but then quickly dropped from official notes. suspicious, huh? what if crispy claws was fronting for a long-lost experiment that’s finally resurfacing? and why choose a food truck? camo so refined i bet even the fox in the forest couldn’t sleuth this.

i threw together a quick poll on the chesterburgh discord because y’all gotta stay involved— is this weird or government weird? so far, the results are leaning HARD into government weird, with a side of “let’s just enjoy lobster without paranoia.” same tbh. but things got so out of control, i’m thinking the town council owes us a full explanation or at least a public heads-up instead of playing hot potato with our lobster rolls and wifi signals.

in the meantime, if you see any “lobster-net” wifi signals p